Nights, Stag


Since most pensioners will be several decades older than other potential participants, very few are ever invited to a stag night. However, in the unlikely event that you are, you should no longer expect a night of drunkenness, unbridled debauchery and mindless violence.

In fact, the last recorded occurrence of any of the foregoing was in September 2001, when a 28-year-old scaffolder from Ironbridge was accidentally head-butted by a nurse while she attempted to pump out his stomach in the A&E department of Telford hospital.

According to the magazine What Groom, the typical stag night now consists of between three and six men completing a general knowledge quiz and eating a selection of haloumis before sending each other photos of each other wearing each other’s ties.

Some social commentators have suggested that this trend indicates that the archetypal characterisation of the male as hunter has been superseded by the emergence of the true metrosexual – but as this was proposed by a social commentator attending a stag night, it’s probably not worth the paper it was written on.