Catapults are an effective and enjoyable way for pensioners to control the population of grey squirrels, cats and pigeons in their gardens, and after just a few weeks regular practice, a fair degree of accuracy can be attained.

The Black Widow catapult, with folding wrist brace, is highly recommended and can launch a marble at speeds approaching Mach 1 over the length of a typical garden.

Obviously, care should be taken when using a catapult indoors, but many will consider the loss of a few porcelain figurines to be a fair price for alerting guests to the fact that they’re overstaying their welcome with a well-aimed shot to the temple.

Children should never be allowed to use your catapult, since it is extremely embarrassing to be caught breaking their fingers when trying to get it back.