Thoth was the ancient Egyptian god of the moon and divine protector of people who lisped.

He was usually depicted with the head of an ibith, although a number of devotional maquettes have been found in which he’s shown wearing a thombrero, playing a thaxophone or eating thistles.

As well as inventing the calendar, Thoth also presided over religious scribes, magicians, Nile Rogers, sandstorms, pyramid selling, plagues, travelling pharaohs, anagrams of Imhotep, Oathith concerts and palmistry.

He also had the gift of prophecy and correctly predicted Cleopatra being fatally bitten by an ass, the opening of the Thuez canal in 1869 and Clive Dunne’s theminal hit thingle ‘Grandad’.

The modern equivalent of Thoth is Stephen Fry.