Sandals

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In biblical times, sandals were quite fashionable, but since then they’ve only been worn by bell-ringers, probation officers and open university lecturers.

Sandals should never be worn on the beach, as this encourages crabs, and never with socks, as this restricts circulation and may cause gout.

Sandals can be worn with fancy dress, but may spoil the effect if you’ve chosen to go as Linford Christie, Al Capone or a puffin.

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