Parks, Safari


Safari parks were invented by the 7th Marquis of Bath in 1966, when he fenced off part of his Longleat estate and filled it with lions, giraffe, left-wing hyenas and a covey a rogue gamekeepers dismissed for gross moral turpitude.  It proved enormously popular despite seven visitors being mauled to death in the first month, and within two years, similar parks had opened at Windsor, Marwell, Toxteth and Gatwick Airport.

Today, many safari parks specialise in distinctive species – such as World of Warthog in Westbury-on-Trim and Slothville in Sinbury-on-Trim – and many pensioners adopt animals at these venues, paying a small fee in return for a signed photo and being able to name them after a work colleague or other vertebrate.

Although staff at safari parks are regularly maimed or eaten as part of a general desire for authenticity, the last recorded death was in 1996, when 103-year-old Bertha Clovenhoof fell off the rope bridge at Gorilla Gorge in Somerset and accidentally crushed a marmoset with her haversack.