Carveries

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Many hotels and pubs offer Sunday carveries and these provide pensioners with a very inexpensive way to enjoy a hot meal and share time with friends or fellow gluttons.

To make the most of a carvery, you should attend in a group of at least eight, with one person paying for the meal and piling enormous amounts of food onto their plate so that the others can eat entirely free of charge.  While this may incur the wrath of more niggardly hotel and bar owners, few wish to be seen ejecting pensioners from their establishments, especially if you’re accompanied by a non-eating bodyguard with copious tattoos and piercings.

Obviously, all those attending a carvery should be meat-eaters and anyone asking for rice or salad should be handed over to the bar staff for appropriate punishment.

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