Elbows

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As you get older, it becomes increasingly common to accidentally strike your elbow against hard surfaces and inanimate objects, and almost 14% of calls to NHS Direct are concerned with injuries to this part of the anatomy.

Showering, putting on seat belts and breaking into greenhouses to steal tomatoes are the most prevalent causes of elbow injuries, though curiously, ‘tennis elbow’ is more likely to be suffered by players of petanque and French horns than tennis itself.

According to research carried out by an ex-military pensioner from the West Midlands, elbows are almost as individual as fingerprints, and the Wolverhampton police force is currently compiling a data base of local elbows to assist them in their pursuit of criminals.  The same research has also shown that elbows actually increase in size with age, and people over 95 are often admitted to A&E unable to free their arms from long-sleeve shirts owing to sudden growth spurts in their joints.

None of the foregoing applies to Guy Garvey.

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