It’s often been claimed that time goes more quickly as you get older, but research has proved that this is not the case. If anything, the converse is true, with time slowing by some 24% on days when a fridge is being delivered, whenever you dial an 0845 number or during a TV transmission of adverts for funeral plans.

In fact, time is an artificial construct, as demonstrated by the fact that a watch that is broken will give the correct time twice a day, whereas one that is working will always give the wrong time to some extent.  However, neither of these factors will help you boil an egg or become immortal.