Thing, I wouldn’t change a


When asked about their life, a worryingly high proportion of pensioners claim they wouldn’t change a thing. Ironically, those most likely to use the phrase have usually spent the previous 65 years losing jobs, getting divorced, having their home repossessed, being attacked in pubs and collecting Clarice Cliff teapots.

Those tempted to use the phrase at any time, should visit their local butcher and put their tongue in the bacon slicer.