Movements, Bowel


Many pensioners become worried about their bowel movements and set great store by regular motions and well-formed stools. However, recent research has shown that the spectrum of acceptable bowel movements is extremely wide, and unless your bowel performs the salsa or drops onto the floor without warning, there is little need to be concerned.

Examining your stools may be a precursor to mental illness (or a desire to run a pub if they are of the four-legged variety) and searching the internet for colour swatches to match your stool colour is probably a sign of a much more serious condition than anything that is happening to your bowels.

Statistically, only 3% of pensioners ever develop a bowel problem, compared to 14% who develop a vowel problem and 17% of carpenters who have a serious dowel problem.