Bags, Charity


Most pensioners will receive a regular supply of charity bags and as well as filling with unwanted items, they can also be used for a variety of useful purposes.

Cutting three appropriately positioned holes turns a charity bag into a lightweight and stylish summer dress, while cutting five appropriately positioned holes creates a roomy sleeping bag for a tortoise.Several tightly rolled bags will make an effective draught excluder and splitting along two parallel sides gives you a usefully large table cloth for seaside picnics or entertaining guests who usually dribble soup on your better table linen.

Charity bags should never be used as emergency petrol containers or temporary bridges over narrow, bottomless chasms.

Care should be taken to weed out charity bags which are, in fact, from commercial companies who make minuscule donations to the charity they claim to represent. In such cases, these bags can be filled with Italian food, bowel cancer testing kits, small rodents and barbed wire.