Weapons, Tactical Nuclear


Although advancing years are commonly accompanied by an increase in the number of things you find irritating, using nuclear weapons to destroy them can be fraught with difficulties. Acquiring them presents few problems if you have access to e-Bay, but deploying them against wine waiters, grey squirrels and Sky TV salesmen is extremely difficult without incurring high levels of collateral damage, particularly with respect to the organs you rely on for continued life.

Obviously such considerations do not apply if you live in Hounslow.