Sidecars are excellent forms of transport for pensioners, offering comfortable, low cost, high speed travel over a variety of distances and terrains.

Although it’s generally assumed they will be attached to a motorbike, sidecars can also be coupled with buses, milk floats, road sweepers and joggers – either with a purpose-designed harness or a sharpened grappling iron capable of piercing sheet metal or bone marrow.

Because they use parasitic power, sidecars, in and of themselves, have a virtually non-existent carbon footprint and for this reason are chosen by environmental activists such as Greta Thunberg, whose sea-going version (attached to a solar-powered submarine) has a refrigerated capsule to eliminate bleaching that might be caused by rising temperatures when travelling among coral reefs.

Similarly innovative sidecars have also been developed for other specific situations, including Bogsidecars, used by the IRA to transport explosives and knee-capped informants; silversidecars, used by butchers to deliver cheaper cuts of beef; and lefthandsidecars, used by snooker players to alter their direction of travel when approaching potholes, traffic cones, badgers or other obstacles in the road.

However, since the UK left the European Union, setasidecars are no longer available in this country.