Despite some television programmes attempts to prove otherwise, sheds are and always have been completely utilitarian buildings, invariably made of wood and used solely for storing tools and undertaking work of a purely practical nature.

In fact, the presence, accidental or otherwise, of any of the following, automatically disqualifies a building from being a shed.

Curtains; posters of mushrooms; ceramic plaques decorated with ‘I love Gardening’; cat cushions; chandeliers; bedding for migrant workers; magazine racks; jars marked ‘peanuts for squirrels’; welcome mats; clipboards; clipboards with attached lists; clipboards with attached typed lists; trugs; clocks; flip-flops; wallpaper; bread-makers; soap; armchairs; espadrilles; decanters; memorabilia; easels, teasels and weasels; small pink trowels; mobile phones; tablets (electronic, medicinal and stone).