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Although the available amount of pornography has become hugely engorged since the introduction of the internet, very little of it has been consciously designed with the older person in mind. In fact, in a recent survey of pensioners, more than 70% confessed to being bewildered by the terminology used, and to alleviate this problem, Age Concern has now compiled an explanatory guide to the most common categories of explicit activity. These include:
Softcore. Sexual activity involving a person with dentures.
Hardcore. Sexual activity involving a building contractor.
Cumshot. Sexual activity involving a dyslexic snooker player.
Blowjob. Sexual activity involving a weather forecaster.
Titjob. Sexual activity involving an investment banker.
FFFM. Sexual activity involving a person who owns a digital radio.
Tribbing. A knotted fringe made with a shuttle.