Naps, Afternoon


Having consumed a large cheese and Marmite sandwich and watched the one o’clock news, dozing in front of the television is an essential part of the pensioner’s day. However, such napping is rarely refreshing, and you’re more likely to wake feeling as lethargic as a teenager, and find it’s almost impossible to get out of your chair before being exposed to Jeremy Kyle.

For some inexplicable reason, most callers tend to arrive at your house during your afternoon nap, and instead of leaving when the doorbell goes unanswered, they usually bang on the window till you’re aroused from your slumber. This can lead to unfortunate consequences, since in your semi-conscious state, you can unwittingly agree to a quote for a new conservatory, accept delivery of large parcels for neighbours or invite Jehovah’s Witnesses into your home.

Enjoying your usual nap when you have guests for lunch is perfectly acceptable, though it’s probably more polite if you refrain from collapsing onto the table and snoring before the syllabub arrives.