In broad terms, there are two types of muffin available in the UK today.

The first is a randomly shaped blob of heavy stodge, fairly dry or lumpy in consistency and generally lacking in any flavour its name implies should be present.

The second is a soft, deliciously gooey cake, packed with fruit oozing its syrup out of the lightly cracked top and available only from The River Café at Glasbury-on-Wye.

A sizable minority of pensioners think muffin is a mule.