Ladders are extremely useful devices for accessing places which would otherwise be out of reach and becoming proficient in their use is of benefit to all pensioners.

Ladders should always be supported by a solid vertical structure, such as a wall or John Terry, and should always be climbed on the side furthest from this structure.  Running up a ladder is not recommended unless you’re attempting to evade a crocodile on a pogo stick, and mounting a trampoline at the top to gain extra height should only be attempted by experienced users.

In 2012, pensioners were involved in more than 800,000 accidents with ladders, including the death of a 73-year-old man from Congleton who accidentally swallowed his and a 68-year-old woman from Milford Haven who was stoned to death when several hundredweight of pebble-dash was sprayed onto her by her husband.

No pensioner should attempt to climb a ladder in a stocking, especially if they’re being worn at the time.