Ironing is one of the most tedious and pointless chores that can be undertaken, yet a distressingly high proportion of pensioners still expend considerable time and effort putting creases in trousers, pillow cases, kittens and slices of salami.

The majority of pensioners own at least six irons, four of which will be in the cupboard under the stairs, and two ironing boards, neither of which stays upright for more than 20 seconds.

An ironing board cover, particularly one printed with an epithet such as ‘I must press on’, is the worst possible present you can ever give or receive.