Hair, Nostril


With advancing years, nostril hair tends to increase in length, and this is particularly, and ironically, the case with bald people.

It’s well worth conducting a controlled nasal experiment to determine your individual proclivity, clipping the hairs in one nostril every seven days, while allowing those in the other nostril to grow unrestrained for six months.

If, at the end of that period, the unclipped hairs can be tucked into your waist band, then you should give serious consideration to replacing your nose with a ceramic prosthetic. However, it is much more likely that your unclipped hair will only be shoulder length, and this can be used to stuff cushions or thicken home-made soup.