According to the 2011 UK census, almost 8% of pensioners have become druids, or more accurately, drewids as the majority spelt the name.

The main reasons for this unexpected surge would seem to be unfettered access to Stonehenge, the freedom to wear jackets inside-out and the opportunity to sacrifice ostlers, coopers and greengrocers in pagan ceremonies.

Druids venerate the oak tree, often building their homes out of acorns, and many also practise divination using mistletoe sprigs to locate mineral springs, missing cats and the correct position of the ball in Spot the Ball competitions.

Vegetarian druids are usually known as triffids.