Curtains, Lace


Many pensioners still cling to lace curtains (not literally) as a simple method of affording extra privacy, but in reality, all they do is alert housebreakers to the fact that you may well have items of value which you wish to hide – and this is borne out by the equally incontrovertible fact that no lace curtains have ever been stolen during a burglary.

Lace curtains are normally made by the Bobbin family of Honiton, though cheaper alternatives are available from North Korea, as long as you don’t mind the pattern being repeated images of Kim Jong Un executing his relatives.