C
Cheese is an extremely tasty and versatile dairy product which can be used in scores of different ways, such as toasted on bread (Welsh rabbit), soaked in whisky (Irish rabbit) and drizzled on a nun (Dabbit on a Habit Rabbit).
While Cheddar and Stilton remain the most popular English cheeses, there are now some 700 local varieties produced throughout the UK, including Honkingstench Blue from Yockenthwaite, Grimwort Truckle and the award winning Sagequitter Shinglerind, made from buffalo milk infused with speedwell and smooth sow-thistle.
Although the French consider they know more about cheese than anyone else, in 2013, their prestigious Concours National des Fromagers was won by an Englishman on sabbatical from the National Audit Office. To beat the 15 French entrants, he had to cut designated weights of cheese by eye with a sword, carve scenes from Gerard Depardieu films onto a wedge of Fourme de Montbrison, ferry a flock of Limousin sheep across the River Gironde on a raft made entirely from Chevrotin cheese and neatly wrap a 15Kg Trou du Cru in skin from his own buttocks.
In honour of this unprecedented achievement, veteran guitarist Bill Wyman re-recorded his iconic 1981 hit as Je suis un Roquefort star.