Almost all pensioners remember when banks were part of the service industry, but sadly, those days are long gone.
Today, it’s widely believed that banks’ principal objectives are to close branches, sack staff, lose billions of pounds of your money and reward their senior management with huge salaries and massive pensions.
However, this is something of a distortion and does a certain disservice to institutions which can provide the pensioner with a great deal of innocent amusement.
For instance, most bank branches now have a selection of toys to distract toddlers while their parents are being refused a loan, and you can have a lot of fun building tower blocks out of bricks and then knocking them onto the floor with a cry of joy.
‘Queue here’ signs are usually moveable and active pensioners can easily pitch them through the bank’s windows. Setting fire to racks of leaflets is another harmless jape, as is pushing jam sandwiches into the slots of cash machines or withdrawing money while wearing a stocking over your head .
Opening accounts in spurious names such as Ivan Overdraft and Sir Fred Goodwin can also be tried, while spray painting ‘Really Bloody Stupid’ on RBS signs or riding a black horse into your local Lloyds will draw considerable admiration and envy.
River banks are very nice places where you can wander about, talk to people walking their dog and see a kingfisher.
Gordon Banks was one of England’s finest ever goalkeepers.