Alligators make excellent pets for any pensioner and require little attention apart from regular feeding with human organs and the occasional use of a bath.

Walking an alligator is a very good way to meet new people and potential food-stuffs, and sturdy bite-proof leads are available from most good pet stores.

Alligators are very sensitive to noise and can become aggressive when fire engines and ambulances are in the vicinity, but are easily calmed by feeding them the postman or a couple of passing schoolchildren.